So life sometimes have a way of smacking you in the face – but in a good way. Here I was last week, telling you about my pretty goal-setting exercises and the power of being intentional. I did the steps in Lara Casey’s process, one-by-one, and felt good about it but I wasn’t there yet – I didn’t have the fire I know I’m going to need for 2014 and beyond.
Which brings me back to the face smacking. For the past months since we got to NC, I’d been steadily pushing Greatest Story and my creative work to the side and making it my full-time job to get a full-time job. Because that’s what the safe thing and the easy thing to do is (I told myself).
And just now in January, as it seemed that this goal was about to happen in the biggest, best way possible in the form of a job – I had the most powerful voice inside my head speak up loudly: Why on earth aren’t you doing Greatest Story full-time?
Well, voice in my head, it amounts to being a big, fat chicken. Let me explain. You see, anniemade, Greatest Story, and essentially all my freelance and custom work as a writer, designer, and maker of awesome things, have always been my side projects. These pursuits have always been my creative outlet and voice and what I pursue passionately in stolen hours after work and on the weekends.
So what happened to me? Maybe it took getting everything I’d said I wanted to have a moment of clarity where I finally stopped running away from myself. The only reason I haven’t pursued Greatest Story 100% is because have been (and still am in some ways) completely terrified of doing so. I know the work I do through Greatest Story is core to my life’s mission and purpose. It’s all the things I don’t know yet that scare the crap out of me (money, success, failure, etc.). These things would probably scare anyone who dared to become their own boss or embraced being the round peg in the square hole.
Bob Goff, in the incredible book Love Does, says something great about how to direct your life’s work…
I learned in this crazy process that it’s been FEAR that has kept me from doing that important work in a big, unapologetic, off the sidelines way. And I’ve decided that if I’m going to let fear rule my heart, then that is possibly the greatest failure I could ever experience. Obviously not everyone can take their business freelance or full-time in the same way I am talking about , but I’m blessed right now in our lives that fear is the only major thing that’s been standing in my way.
So maybe it’s going to be dumb or a maybe it’ll prove to be one of Richie Norton’s surprising “stupid” ideas. I only know by taking one step in that direction, and then another. And so, I start my 2014 goals with one I just achieved -
1. Punch fear in the face and pursue Greatest Story full-time
Ok, I said it- I said it! It’s real now.
That was scary, but it feels awesome to share with you. In the past few days, I’ve agonized over this decision but always come back to a place where I know what I’m called to do, I just need the courage to go after it. Some people may not get it, others may think I’m crazy, but it’s the road not taken and the only way to see where it will lead is to start walking it.
I’m so grateful for the opportunities I’ve found and people I’ve met on the job search. And just days into this, I’ve really seen it be true that sometimes you have to say no to something awesome to say yes to something even more important.
And with that, here are my goals and vision for 2014. They aren’t specific in some ways (lose x pounds for example) but they are focused on the person I want to be this year and beyond. I wish you all the best in finding your vision and direction in 2014, but more than that – I wish you courage. Wish me some too, I’m going to need it!
For me, this means,
I will not marginalize my dreams
I will not only seek the path of least resistance
I will say no to trying to take care of everything for me and for Gus
I will say yes to feeling the fear, then do it anyway!
I will give myself an entire year to really see what I can do
I will make it on my own terms
I will embrace being the round peg in the square hole
I will embrace the chaos
I will give it my best shot
I will have tried something and dared greatly
I will give up good to go after GREAT
I will continue to build a strong, amazing marriage
I will commit to helping Gus go after his own dreams
I will save money with Gus
I will make plans for the future with Gus
I will go on a vacation with Gus! Yes!
I will thank God for the life he has blessed me with
I will find ways to show family and friends how much I cherish them
I will reserve judgment and embrace the concept of being “with” people when they face challenges
I will live each day knowing I have ENOUGH
I will love bigger than ever before
I will take care of my body and my mind through nurturing both (and yes, going to the gym!)
I will change people’s lives
I will be a part of meaningful moments in people’s lives
I will make a difference at least one person’s life
I will create
I will create things that will stick with people and move them for a lifetime
I will be an example
I will embrace the advice I give to everyone else
and when I want to quit, I will try one more time.